Letters from Stag
by metro.max
Summary: Sitting at breakfast one day, and minding her own business at it, Lily Evans receives a seemingly normal letter. Upon reading it, though, Lily is sent on a four day journey of mystery and discovery, ending only with an answer for you to decide.
1. Day One

You may not know me for me

But through all the constant doubt

I've got you to lean on, to turn to in my mind

I've got nothing else worth dreaming about

Subtlety has no place in love

Letters from Stag

Prologue

Part Five — Girls

Section One – Dating and Dealing with Inter-School Relationships

Sub-section One – Gryffindors

Division One – Lily Evans

Division Two – Others

Sub-section Two – Ravenclaws

Sub-section Three – Hufflepuffs

Sub-section Four – Slytherins

Division One – The Good

Division Two – The Evil

Section Two – On Flirting

Sub-section One – Lily Evans

Sub-section Two – Others

Sub-section Three – Class Flirt Getaway

Division One – Slughorn

Division Two – McGonagall

Division Three – Flitwick

Division Four – Sprout

Division Five – Flaggot

Division Six – Dumbledore

Section Three – On Snogging

Sub-section One – The Rules of Snogging

Division One – Off Limits

Sub-division One – Lily Evans

Sub-division Two – Others

Sub-section Two – The Off Limits

Division One – Remus Lupin

Division Two – James Potter

Sub-division One – Lily Evans

Division Three – Sirius Black

Division Four – Peter Pettigrew

Section Four – On Lily Evans

Sub-section One – Assisting James in the Struggle

Division One – Throwing in a Good Word

Division Two – Puncturing the Ego

Division Three – The Guide to Subtle Flirting

Sub-section Two – Dating Lily Evans

Division One – Dealing with the Unfortunate Bloke

Division Two – The Art of Asking Out

Sub-section Three – Keeping the Eyes Away

Division One – Keeping Others from Flirting with Lily Evans

Division Two – Keeping Others from Snogging Lily Evans

Division Three – Keeping Others from Asking Out Lily Evans

**Day One**

_To Lily Evans_

Lily Evans flipped over the envelope curiously. Who'd be writing to her during Easter break, and by typewriter?

Her mother insisted on only handwritten letters for her daughter, her father added his two bits at the end of her mother's letters, and Lily's sister, Petunia, refused to be in contact with her younger sister, whom she despised.

It couldn't be from Professor Slughorn; he had students deliver his letters and they were always tied with a brightly colored ribbon.

The other teachers always had their personal stationary for notes (detentions, most likely) to their students, and always wrote in long-hand.

That left only her fellow students, who could've just as well walked up to her and said what was needed while she fought her way through the corridors to her next class.

Her curiosity got the better of her and she broke the seal (which was nothing more than navy blue wax pressed into a circle, no family or group seals present). She pulled out the letter with a hint of nervousness. Who knows who this letter could be from? It was best to be cautious.

"A letter, eh, Evans? Who's it from?" came the (rather obnoxious, in Lily's opinion) voice of Sirius Black.

"That would be none of your business, Black," said Lily, stuffing the letter back into the envelope, away from prying eyes (not to mention fingers).

"Hiding a secret love affair in there, are you?" he shot back, grinning arrogantly and pointing a now empty fork at the envelope. You'd think lasting six years at school with Lily would've wizened him up, but then….

"Of course, Black, what else could it possibly be?" she said sarcastically, now stuffing the letter into her pants' pocket.

He lowered his fork to his plate.

"You're not serious, are you?" he said, drinking up every word she uttered.

"How could she be, Padfoot, I thought you were?" said James Potter, sliding onto the bench next to Sirius. He pulled a plateful of eggs toward himself while continuing on, "Now, why're you not serious, Evans?"

"Once again," she said, now starting to get annoyed with their meddling, "it is in neither your nor Black's place to know if I receive letters _or _if I'm in a secret love affair, neither of which effects either of you, meaning you have no reason to know (not that I _would _ever tell you)."

James brought another forkful of eggs to his lips and, chewing slowly, seemed to be processing her words delicately. He seemed to find something disturbing for his brow furrowed and he swallowed thickly.

"_Secret love affair?" _he said coyly, pronouncing each word with savored distaste.

Lily had to hide her smirk at his flustered expression. "Did I stutter?"

He puckered his lips and turned back to his plate.

"I thought so," Lily said, and picked herself up off of the bench and marched out of the doors of the Great Hall and into the deserted corridor. The door shut behind her with a light click that reverberated in the long hall.

With a furtive glance around, Lily tore off to her dormitory, where she was hoping to find the privacy she wished for.

She slid to a stop in front of a portrait of a rather large woman wearing a pink silk dress seven floors later.

"Password?" the Fat Lady (as she was called) inquired.

Lily, gasping for breath, managed to utter between huffs, "Fairy… feet…"

The Fat Lady nodded at her with a small smile and the portrait swung open, revealing a large, circular hole in the wall. Lily ambled through and, taking a deep breath, took the steps two at a time.

She pushed open a door with a small plaque reading "Seventh Years" above it, revealing a comfortably large room with five four-poster beds all lined up in a single row. She shuffled to the bed farthest away and landed on it with a loud "humph." She drew her feet under her legs and pulled a pillow toward herself, pulling the letter from deep within her pants' pocket and smoothing it out over the pillow. She pressed out a crease in the corner before setting it on the pillow and taking a moment to study the envelope.

It was made of a thick, sky blue parchment, folded in half and magically sealed at the side seams. It had been folded over at the top and sealed with the dark blue circular seal, which had broken when Lily had opened it in the Great Hall. She slipped her thin fingers into the envelope and pulled out a pale green piece of parchment. She unfolded it with slightly baited breath.

_Dear Lily Evans,_

_For long have I yearned to muster the courage to do as I am. For months on end have I thought this through, unconsciously wording this very letter in my mind's eye. For years have I ached to say what I am about to say._

_But before I begin, there are a few things I would like to clarify, as I am sure you are more than wondering who this letter is from, and why it is that I am writing to you._

_Lily, you know who I am, you have met me, you have grown up with me. You have seen me in class, you have seen me in the corridors, you have seen me with my friends. But can you really claim knowing me?_

_To you, I shall be nothing more than anonyme, anonymous, though to my friends I am known as Cerf. Call me as you wish._

_Lily, I am writing you to tell you something that I have told no one, not even my best of friends. They would hardly be able to understand what you put me through on a daily basis. I intend on telling you and you alone. I am only hoping this confession will ease the ache of my lonely heart._

_Lily Evans, every morning I wake with your face impressed on my eyes; I see your face engrained in my mind. I lie in my bed, trying to draw warmth from your image rather than my bedding; my blankets can do me no good to warm my heart and make it swell as the thought of you does._

_I force myself out of bed with the only thought of being able to see your shining face again as I prepare for the day ahead. As I make my way to eat with my chatting friends, I think only of how I could show you the real me, not the me you perceive every time you draw your eyes to my face (rare as that may be). I shiver every time your eyes rest on me, for I can always tell._

_I eat my meal as I always do; chatting with my friends and cracking jokes, but my eyes always seem to drift to where you are seated with your friends, glowing with pleasure at the coming day._

_We walk to our first class, I drifting far behind you. You never notice me. You never have, despite all I do to draw your attention. Sometimes I fear I might die from the pain; it is far worse than any physical pain I have ever felt. It tears at my soul._

_I have to do all but have my friends restrain me from sitting next to you. I am forced to control myself or you will never learn about me. Instead, I sit in class, watching you take your notes, "drooling over Evans again," as my friends have so kindly coined it. I do not mind it as I first did._

_I may get scolded in class for daydreaming, but my mind is only focused on you. **I have nothing else worth dreaming about.** I may try to concentrate on the class, but the words issuing from the professor's mouth never seem to make it to my ears._

_One of my friends will shake me from my trace when the class is over (I think they have alternating days), and we will make our way on to lunch._

_During this time one of my friends will remind me of all the things that have happened in class, and somehow I manage to absorb this information when you are only a mere ten feet away from me. We will then move on for our afternoon classes, I still following in your wake. You will branch off for Charms, and I Transfiguration. I feel my heart leave me, following you along the winding trail, farther and farther away from me. And because I have "no Evans to drool over" in Transfiguration, I am forced to work, though you never leave my mind the whole time._

_Class is over and I pass you in the corridor, and I let out a breath I seemed to have been holding for the past forty-five minutes (though my friends say that is physically impossible and that they have indeed seen me breathing the whole time)._

_We move on to Potions, and I watch you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. The tips are beginning to curl from the heat of your cauldron. You look enchanting. I manage to scrape by a decent potion and I trudge off to the library to begin my looming mountain of homework. Though it may not seem it, this requires my full attention._

_Once the homework has been tamed, we make our way to eat once again, and with you on my mind all day, I believe I have finally plucked up enough courage to talk to you. My heart beats painfully against my chest and blood rushes past my ears, and I fear I won't be able to stand much longer on my legs reduced to jam, but I press on. My breath comes out in rasps now, and as I am about to tap you on the shoulder, a friend calls your name. I am both relieved and disappointed at the same time to see you go. I fear I would not be able to face you._

_I trudge on through my day, my thoughts completely encumbered with you, a "Lily Overload," as my friends say. And that much is indeed true._

_I lie in my bed, thinking today's failure over. Am I that much of a coward? Why should I be afraid to speak to a girl?_

_Because, Lily, you are so much more than a "girl" to me. You make me want to cry and laugh at the same time, to scream and shout, to conquer the world and hide in a corner. You make me feel like I have never felt before. It is as if Bonfire Night has exploded inside of me. It amazes me every time it happens, and it most likely always will. I never want that feeling to die._

_For you see, Lily Evans, I love you, and I always will._

_Yours, forever and for always,_

_Votre l'amant pas-si secret, cerf anonyme_

_P. S. If you feel the need to respond, give the letter to Strix; she knows who I am and where to find me._

Lily quirked an eyebrow. Who _was_ this person? Thoughts flashed through Lily's mind like wildfire, but if anything, Lily was slightly disturbed. Whoever he was, he sounded very stalker-ish as she reread the letter.

"_I have to do all but have my friends restrain me from sitting next to you…_" Lily shuddered. Whoever this was, Lily would have a few words for him.

_Still, though, some of the things he wrote were very sweet… _Lily thought, her eyes flitting across the page again. "_Sometimes I fear I might die from the pain… It tears at my soul…._"

Stalker-ish: "_I sit in class, watching you take your notes, **"drooling over Evans again,"**__as my friends have so kindly coined it._"

Sweet (_very_ sweet): **"_I have nothing else worth dreaming about._"**

_But,_ thought Lily, _he's also rather funny, too. "One of my friends will shake me from my trace when the class is over (I think they have alternating days)…._ _I pass you in the corridor, and I let out a breath I seemed to have been holding for the past forty-five minutes (though my friends say that is physically impossible and that they have indeed seen me breathing the whole time)."_

Lily giggled at this despite herself.

"…_my thoughts completely encumbered with you, a "Lily Overload," as my friends say." _

_Creepy, yet oddly flattering…. _Lily thought.

"_Yours, forever and for always, Votre l'amant pas-si secret, cerf anonyme…" _

Lily squinted her eyes shut. _That's French… _she thought.

And as strange as it may seem, Lily had been educated in French for more than half of her life. Growing up, her childhood friend had been a pretty French girl, who knew only how to speak her native tongue. Because of this hindrance, Lily was forced to pick up the French language, and it was not something easily forgotten; she still wrote to her friend regularly.

Thinking hard, Lily was able to construct most of her stalker's signature. _Your not-so-secret…_

She frowned, and then shook her head. She pulled out a small French dictionary from deep within her trunk, just in case her friend slipped up and used a slang word Lily had yet to learn. After flipping through for a moment, she came upon the word she was looking for.

_L'amant_ _means… lover? _Her frown increased. _Your not-so-secret lover. Brilliant, Einstein, _she thought. _Not so secret anymore, eh? _

_Cerf… hmm… stag or deer…. Stag, of course, what male wants to be called a deer? _She snorted, then frowned. _Where've I heard that before? _

She remembered a faceless male tripping to the ground in front of her, and another person saying in a falsely exasperated voice, "_Merlin_, it's a _shame_ you're not more _stag-like_, isn't it?" The voice had dragged out the words carefully, placing special enunciation on 'shame' and 'stag-like' as it smirked.

Lily shook her head to clear it, dying to see those faces, but she drew nothing from it. Instead she stood and took to pacing. Now, who did she know that fancied her?

Her immediate thought was that of James Potter. She gave a derisive laugh. _Him, feel that way? Hah! If he'd have written me a letter, it would've been, "Hey Evans, you wanna go out with me? Your adoring Quidditch connoisseur, James Potter" _

The thought made her want to gag, which she nearly did.

Lily had always had somewhat of a crush on James Potter, but no living soul knew of this with the exception of Lily (and Strix, her owl, if she counted). To her surprise, James asked her out on the first day of their fifth year, but Lily declined coldly. She didn't understand why James Potter could make her feel this way when he was just an "arrogant bullying toerag." She knew he only continued asking her out to irk her (which he was successfully doing) and to try and "win her over," as people regularly said. She knew the second she would said yes, he'd drop her like a hot potato, and Lily wasn't one you just dropped like a hot potato and expected to get away with it.

As she constantly told herself, she was saving herself the disappointment and pain that would inevitably ensue, so she masked her feelings quite expertly by showing nothing but dislike towards James Potter.

_Who could it be then? _Lily asked herself, and racked her brain. Her mind flew to Dirk Cresswell, a sixth year Gryffindor who seemed to have a little thing for Lily, but this idea was quickly quashed when she realized this "Stag" was in her year. _How else could he've gotten into my Potions class?_

Lily was at a loss. She didn't know if any other boys fancied her. She instead turned to her trunk and pulled out a crumpled bit of parchment and found a quill in one of her trainers.

_Mr. Stag,_

_Who are you? And why're you stalking me, because, Merlin help me, I'll go straight to Dumbledore if you don't stop!_

Satisfied that her letter was complete, she folded it up four times until it was the size of her thumb and pulled a string from the hem of her skirt. Tying up the note, she began the walk to the owlry, mulling over the contents of the letter she'd received (which she'd stuffed into her pocket).

Walking into the owlry, she found a strange sight: James Potter with her owl, Strix, on his outstretched arm, facing the glassless windows. He was muttering to the bird under his breath as he stroked the bird's tawny feathers absentmindedly.

"What're you doing to my bird, Potter?" Lily said coolly, entering the owlry. "Trying to train her so she won't deliver any of my letters?"

He turned to her slowly, looking as if he was struggling not to grin cockily at her. "Precisely. I do hope you don't mind," he said, his grin finally breaking through.

"Then I suppose I'll just have to use yours," she said, scanning the rows on rows of owls. "Where is he?"

"Hibou's not here, he's delivering a letter," he said, turning back to Strix. He muttered something, and Strix nibbled his ear affectionately.

"Hey, no fraternizing with the enemy, Strix. C'mere," Lily said, patting her shoulder. The owl flew over after taking a gentle tug at James's hair.

He rubbed his head where the owl had tugged at his hair and grinned (rather stupidly) at Lily and Strix.

Lily began tying the small note to Strix's leg as she said, "You _do_ know you named your bird "owl," don't you?"

His grin grew. "All the easier to remember his name."

Lily's lips twitched upward as she finished off the knot. "There you are, Strix, off you go," she said, holding out her arm.

Strix merely shifted her weight from one leg to the other and hooted curiously at James.

He quirked an eyebrow and waved a hand at her. "Go on, you know where to find me when you're done."

Lily tutted as Strix flew away. "I don't know if I approve of my bird hanging around you. Who knows what habits she could pick up."

James shrugged and said, "I can't help it if she likes me."

Lily snorted. "And I'm a hippogriff."

James ran a hand through his hair, looking pleasantly surprised. "I never would have assumed. You just look… so much more human to me."

She frowned. "You take everything too literally."

"I'm a very literal person. But then, I do tend to use metaphors sometimes…." He lapsed into silence as he donned an inquisitive, thoughtful expression. .

Lily rolled her eyes and headed out the owlry door. Surprisingly, James didn't follow. Lily felt a tinge of disappointment. _Sometimes I wish he really _did _like me…._

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Strix tapped on the window with her beak, drawing the attention of a figure in the shadows. The figure stepped into the glowing daylight and the window swung open; Strix flew into the darkness. Her glowing amber eyes were instantly accustomed to the darkness as she took in the familiar surroundings.

She perched on the post of a four-poster and began preening her feathers, waiting for her accomplice to finish writing. After a few minutes, she bored of this and instead swooped from her perch to the bed across from her, hooting hopefully as she dug through a pile of used parchment in hopes for food.

"There's nothing there," the figure said, smiling down at her fondly. "But I brought you this from breakfast." He tossed a strip of bacon onto the bed next to her and she hooted in thanks.

Nibbling happily, she turned her amber eyes on him with curiosity. He was still scribbling away furiously, the ink creeping up to his fingers as he wrote. She cocked her head at him as she swallowed. He was different from her owner.

He wrote furiously fast, crossing out and scribbling over things. He'd pause occasionally, tickling his nose with the tip of his quill, apparently thinking, and then would continue with renewed energy.

Her owner, on the other hand, wrote slowly, as if contemplating her every word before putting it on her parchment. Her hand would hover above the parchment for a moment, and then she'd continue on with a full sentence, writing slowly but surely.

Strix turned her attention back to the grind of bacon she had left, pulling off a small strip with her beak. Maybe there were a few spiders lurking in the corners to wash it down with….

She hooted loudly, startled.

"Sorry, sorry Strix," the figure quickly apologized, casting an anxious glance her way. He had set a typewriter on his desk with a loud _clunk_. She hooted reproachfully.

"I'm almost done," he said, and motioned for her to perch on his shoulder. "See here, Strix, we put the parchment in here" — he loaded the parchment into the typewriter— "and then we tap it with my wand" — he poked the typewriter and said an incantation— "and then I read off what I have written and it will copy it for me. Easy," the figure finished off, and stiffened his original copy to begin.

Strix gave a light hoot and landed on her original landing place before: the four-poster closest to the window. Cool air was wafting in, the smell of spring with it. She started at the sound of the typewriter, but the figure said a word and the typewriter was silenced.

She watched with detached interest as the figure's lips moved softly, forming words unknown to her. She cleaned one feather and looked up. He was folding the original copy into a small square.

She preened another. He was now pulling the new copy from the machine, waving it in the air to make the ink dry faster.

She pulled the last of the bacon into her beak and swallowed happily. He was now placing the green parchment inside of a pale blue envelope. Now was her cue.

She perched on the arm of his chair and stuck out her leg expectantly. He smiled at her and gave her head a pat. "Give this to Lily before dinner, alright? When she responds, wait up in the owlry for me, and I will come and find you, understand?"

She hooted.

"Good," he said with a confidant smile, tying the letter to her leg and sending her off.

Strix flew out the window gracefully, circling the dormitory tower a few times before heading to the owlry to settle for a few hours before dinner.

Lily looked up, startled. Strix had just landed in front of her, in the middle of dinner, in her potato salad. Several heads popped up at the odd occurrence, including Lily's giggling group of friends.

Raising an eyebrow, she took the letter that Strix was presenting her. Strix adjusted her weight from one leg to the other, and then stuck her beak in Lily's goblet.

"_Another_, Evans?" said the shocked voice of Sirius Black, who was leaning over a steaming pot of potato soup. (Today was Potato Day at Hogwarts, in memory of the Marauders' very first major prank on Severus Snape.)

She flashed the envelope in front of his face. "I _believe_" —she looked at the letter as if for confirmation— "it is."

She pulled her bag over her shoulder and stood up. "C'mon, Strix, let's go," she said, but as she looked down at her plate for her bird, she wasn't there.

Looking down the table, both James Potter and Remus Lupin were stoking Strix, feeding her bits of baked potato off of their forks.

Lily sighed exasperatedly. "Strix, what did we talk about before?" she said accusingly, hands on her hips.

James laughed. "Strix, you _know_ you're not to fraternize with the enemy!" he said, pointing at himself and Lupin with his fork.

Lupin raised his eyebrows. "Now I'm the enemy as well?"

James smiled and said proudly, "Once a Marauder, always a Marauder!"

"And that means if Evans hates Prongs, she hates us all!" piped in Sirius, slopping some soup onto his plate.

Lily sighed. "Firstly, I do not hate Potter. Secondly, just because I'm less than friendly with Potter does not mean I dislike you all. I don't dislike Remus," she added after a moment of thought, and patted her shoulder. Strix landed on her and they walked off.

Hearing the doors shut behind her with a satisfactory _click_, Lily took off down the corridor and up the stairs, Strix hooting questioningly and flying down the corridor after her.

Lily gave the password to the Fat Lady, and she and Strix bolted up to the dormitory. Slamming the door shut behind her, Lily threw herself on her bed and ripped open the letter.

_Dear Lily Evans,_

_Who am I? You know who I am, Lily Evans, you saw me today. You looked at me. Did you not you notice me? I noticed you._

_Lily, I am offended that you would call me a stalker. I prefer to know it as watching you closely. I wish you only the best, and that can only be achieved by watching you carefully. No harm shall befall you. I will not let it happen._

_Lily Evans, I long to meet you, I truly do. I yearn to see your enchanting smile, your glowing face. I wish to hold your hand in mine, to meet my lips with yours._

_But as my friend oft reminds me, flattery shall do me no good. 'Even if it is the truth?' I ask him, but he merely shakes his head at me. I fear I shall never learn of what he speaks. Who cannot appreciate a compliment? But then, I remind myself, he has little experience himself, so he shan't be instructing me anytime soon._

_The English language is a petty language, Lily. It has merely one word for the connection two people share, whereas languages such as French and Latin brush up against the emotion you invoke within me. Love can mean so many separate things, though this word cannot express what I feel for you. It is beyond our English love, so much stronger than any English word could portray. As I try again and again to convey you this, I can only pray one day the concept will sink in._

_I can only wait._

_I hope I have answered your questions, Lily, and I await further contact from you._

_Yours, always and forever,_

_Votre Cerf_

Lily fingered the parchment, frowning. _Not only stalker-ish, sweet, and funny, he's also smart, _she thought. _Brilliant. Next he'll be serenading me in Latin, and then Greek, and then Spanish…._

She sifted through papers in her bag, pulling out a clean piece and a bent quill. She straightened the quill out, wording her thoughts in something Messer. Stag would understand… she hoped.

_My dearest Stag,_

_Who put you up to this?_

Lily smiled down at the letter; short, sweet, and to the point. She rolled it up and held it out to Strix, who was now tapping on the window expectantly.

Turning from the window, Strix landed on Lily's knee and nipped the letter from Lily's fingers with her beak. She managed a muffled hoot and waited on the windowsill as Lily opened the window.

Strix flew out into the fresh spring air.

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A lone figure crept up the owlry stairs, quill and ink in hand, walking as quietly as his clumsy feet would permit. He was taking the indirect approach to the owlry, as not to be spotted, but it was too late.

"Oy, Stag, where you off to?" called a voice from behind the figure, who paused.

The figure turned on his heel. "Off to the owlry, why?"

"No reason, just wond'ring," said the other, his brown hair bouncing against his head as he jogged up to the figure.

The brown-haired one broke a smile as he spotted the quill and ink. "Another letter to Evans, I see," he said, his eyes lighting up. "Just let it go, Stag, she'll never notice you."

"Never say never," said the figure sagely. "She just needs time."

"Which we don' have much a these days," commented the figure's companion.

"Like an hourglass, life is," said the figure. "We think we have all the time in the world until the last grains slip through and we're gone…."

The other nodded somberly. "I'll leave ya to your courting, then. Don' want to waste too much time, eh?" he said, and walked away, chuckling.

The figure shook his head and continued his way to the owlry. On entry, Strix gave an overjoyed hoot and landed on his shoulder.

"I've missed you too," he said, stroking her head. "Now, you've got a letter for me, don't you?"

Strix extended her wing towards a note curled around a perch. The figure pulled it off and petted Strix, obviously pleased.

"Well done, love," he said. "You've turned out to be quite the delivery bird, eh?" Strix hooted.

The figure laughed and uncurled the letter. His eyes flew across it, a disappointed look breaking out.

"Looks like she's not warming up to me too quickly, eh Strix?" he said, and sighed.

He pulled out a crumpled piece of parchment from his cloak pocket and uncorked his ink bottle. Dipping his quill in, he furrowed his brow and began.

**Author's Notes: **Yo.

-looks pointedly at review button-

Have fun!

--alisa


	2. Day Two

**Day Two**

"Hey Evans, how's it going?" said Sirius Black as he slid onto the bench next to Lily the following morning.

She scowled.

"I see," he said, sliding a foot away from her, which was just enough room for James to slip in. He pulled a plate of toast toward himself and threw a few pieces on his plate.

"Morning, all!" James said brightly, cramming half a piece of toast in his mouth.

Lily frowned as Sirius successfully chugged his fourth glass of pumpkin juice.

James swallowed with difficulty. "What's your problem?" he address-ed Lily.

_It's worth a try… _she thought, squinting up at James. "Pouvez-vous parler le français?" she asked.

James's left eyebrow was lost in his mop of hair as he quirked it and smiled. "Oui. Et vous?"

"Un peu," she responded, shrugging her shoulders.

Sirius looked up from his bowl as he said, "What memo did I miss?"

Lily and James exchanged a glance and laughed, continuing their conversation, Sirius still eyeing them uncertainly.

James grinned. "I didn't know you spoke French," he said, pointing his strip of bacon at her accusingly, as if this was something as relevant as her name.

"Nor did I you," she said, taking a stab at her fried tomatoes.

James quirked an eyebrow.

"I didn't know you spoke French either," she said, explaining herself a little more clearly.

He shook his head. "I understood you the first time," he said, "it was just…"

"Just what?" Lily prompted him.

James made a face. "It's just that… I like your hair," he finished quickly.

Lily looked at him in disbelief. "You like my hair?" she asked incredulously.

"I — yeah."

He puffed up a bit, as if he was plucking up all his courage to say this.

"I think it's pretty, you know, the way it kind of…" he said, gesturing with his hands as he trailed off unsurely.

Lily blushed, but brushed his compliment off with, "Well I don't, it's a pain in the morning to brush."

James ran a hand through his hair as he said, "So is mine, but I'm not complaining."

"Not in front of Evans, you're not," said Sirius, butting into their conversation as he reached for the fried tomatoes. "You should hear him in the morning, Lily, it's hysterical. 'I can't let her see me like this, Padfoot! She'll think I'm a tramp!'" he said gleefully.

James had just now turned a lovely shade of pink. He said nothing.

"She who?" asked Lily, her anger beginning to brew. _So I _am_ a one-time shot._

"You, silly," Sirius said, nipping her nose and grabbing the fried tomatoes with the other hand.

James had now successfully reached a radiant shade of magenta. He mumbled a quick something about going to find Peter and rushed out of the Great Hall.

"Oh, now, that wasn't very nice, Black," said Lily.

Sirius gave her an inquiring look.

"Why'd you have to chase him off? I was quite enjoying his embarrassment," she said, grinning wickedly.

Sirius laughed. "Now that's the side of Lily Evans I could get to know," he said, smiling down at her warmly.

Her grin faltered. Did he mean that he wanted to get romantically involved with her? She couldn't help but ask.

"Are you asking me out?"

He shook his head quickly. "Oh no, no, no," he said, his hair flapping from side to side. "That's against the code, and I can't break the code, no, that would be bad…."

"What code?" Lily asked sharply.

Sirius looked up. "The Marauders' Code: No Marauder goes out with another's girl, that's just the way it works," he rattled off quickly. "And if Prongs wants to go out with you, then there's nothing I can do, no interfering, none at all, a good word maybe, but no going out, no snogging, no flirting. Where's Tabitha?" He looked around hopefully, then turned his attention back to Lily for a moment. "James loves you, go out with him, yadda yadda yadda, you know the drill," said Sirius, and he ran off.

Lily couldn't help but laugh at him. She stuck her fork in her fried tomatoes as his words ran through her mind. _"Where's Tabitha? **James loves you**, go out with him, yadda yadda yadda, you know the—" Hold it! _Lily thought._ Rewind… **James loves you….**_

These daunting words ricocheted in Lily's mind as her fork hung in midair, half-way to her mouth.

"Hey, Lily."

Remus Lupin sat down next to her and loaded his plate with food. For such a scrawny thing, he could really eat sometimes. He gave her a side glance.

"Something on your mind?"

Lily looked up. "There's always something on my mind."

Remus grinned mischievously. "And that something would be—"

"None of your business," she finished for him, blushing.

"Uhuh," he said, giving her a frank look. He turned back to his plate, fork poised for the attack.

He had already polished off his eggs before Lily spoke. "Potter hasn't asked me out all month, you know."

Remus choked on his mouthful of eggs and managed to sputter, "And you want him to?"

"No!" Lily said quickly. "I was just curious as to why he's stopped," she added in what she thought was an off-hand voice.

Remus only nodded, still gulping down his pumpkin juice to clear his throat of any egg remains.

"Does he still fancy me?" she asked lightly, now inspecting her nails to hide her blush.

Remus's head emerged from his goblet. "I haven't the faintest clue as to why it would affect you, so I have no reason to tell you," he said, grinning wickedly.

"Remus…" Lily whined obnoxiously, tugging on his arm.

"Yes?" he replied politely, trying to cover his smirk.

"Fine," she said, folding her arms. "Don't tell me, see if I care."

"Well, alright…." he said, and dug into his mound of food.

"Remus! Tell me!" she said exasperatedly, hitting his arm.

"Tell you what?" said a voice, which just happened to belong to James, who had just slinked back into the Great Hall.

Remus grinned. "Well, the funny thing is, Prongs, Lily here was just asking me a very interesting question that I think you might like to hear…" he said, watching as Lily's jaw dropped in horror.

"You wouldn't!" she cried.

Remus smirked and said to James, "So, why'd you come back in here?"

James split open a crumpet. "I'm not done eating. Got to have lots of energy, you know." He nodded at Remus. Remus nodded back and turned to his food.

"Prongs?"

James looked up. "Yeah…?"

"Why'd you stop —?"

Lily clasped her hand over Remus's mouth. "He said nothing, he said nothing," she said feverishly to James, and looked Remus straight into the eye. "You'll say nothing, not a thing."

He pulled her hand away, grinning. "If you say so."

James sighed. "I missed a memo, didn't I?"

Remus nodded sympathetically.

"'Fraid so, my dear friend, but don't worry," — he flashed a grin at Lily — "I'll tell you later."

"You will not!" said Lily. She stuck out her lower lip. "This stays between us, Remus. For me, please?"

Remus smiled and said, "As much as I love you, Lily, I _have_ to tell him."

"And why do you _have_ to tell him?" she asked, still pouting.

"Marauders' Code," Remus simply said.

James's eyes flashed. "Marauders' Code?" he asked.

"Marauders' Code," said Remus in confirmation.

"What's Marauders' Code?" asked Lily, but she was ignored.

"Which part?" asked James eagerly.

Remus grinned. "Part Five, Section Four, Sub-section Two, Division Two, I believe," he said.

James nearly fell off the bench. "Please tell me you're not joking, _please_," he begged.

"What's Part Five, Section Four, Sub-whatever?" demanded Lily. She was again ignored.

"No lies," said Remus. He clapped James on the shoulder. "I can't believe I ever doubted you."

"I can't believe _I_ ever doubted me!" James said, grinning like a mad-man. "Does Padfoot know?"

"Maybe…" said Remus, squinting his eyes. "I don't know what Lily's gone and told him."

"I haven't gone and told him anything!" said Lily indignantly, though she had no idea what they were actually talking about.

James was now fidgeting in his seat. "Should I start dancing now?" he asked Remus.

"No, I'd save that for when I've got a camera," said Sirius, sliding onto the bench next to James. "What's in your pants?"

"Part Five, Section Four, Sub-section Two, Division Two!" he exclaimed joyfully, jumping in his seat.

"What in the name of Merlin is that?" said both Sirius and Lily at the same time, though Lily considerably louder.

Remus rolled his eyes and whispered something in Sirius's ear, James still dancing in his seat and throwing Lily looks of utmost bliss.

Sirius's eyes grew wide. "Dear Merlin above…" he whispered. He shook his head and broke out smiling. "I never thought I'd see the day! James Potter, you can truly do anything! We should make a shrine!" he said, throwing his hands in the air. "D'you think it would look good in the common room or better in front of the Slytherin table?"

"Huh, I was thinking more along the lines of in front of the professor's table or maybe out by the Quidditch pitch," voiced Remus.

James was now leaning up against Sirius, giggling madly. Lily was shooting him odd looks.

"I think he's gone and worn himself out. Too much excitement for one day," said Remus, pulling James off of Sirius by the arm.

"To the common room, shall we?" said Sirius, taking James's other arm. Together they led him from the Great Hall, but not before he could shout over his shoulder, "See you later, Lily!"

_Dear Lily Evans,_

_No one would dare put me up to this. I do this out of my own free will, though it seems my efforts are in vain. I simply wish to know you for you, and if this be the way that I learn about you, so be it._

_Perhaps you would feel more comfortable writing to me if I were to break the ice, correct? Perhaps I may._

_As you have correctly guessed, I am known by my friends as Stag. I am not entirely sure how that name came about, but it has always stuck and I believe it fine._

_I am also in your year. I am five feet six inches, with dark hair and eyes, though my skin is light. You need not describe yourself to me, Lily, for I know already what you look like. I sit close to you every meal to ensure my seeing you. I make certain of it._

_I speak English, French, and Bulgarian fluently, due to summer trips to Bulgaria when I was younger. What else to do but learn foreign languages while there?_

_Now, Lily, I have beat around the bush far too long. I have but one more thing to say, so let me say it now. Lily, the first time I saw you, I knew you were special. I knew you were someone I had to know._

_And now that I do, I would never take back our first encounter. A blessed memory it is._

_Yours, forever and for always,_

_Votre Cerf_

Lily reread the letter.

_I just don't know. How many guys do I know that can speak French? _she asked herself. _But still, James Potter? Black _did _say that James loves me…. Dear Merlin help me! I called him James!_

Lily groaned and fell back against her bed. She was beyond confused. Who was this Stag and what did he want from her?

Lily pushed herself up and reached for the quill and parchment she had ready at the side of her bed.

_Dear Stag,_

_Look, I'm flattered by your interest in me, I truly am, but I don't like beating around the bush like this. Tell me who you are, meet with me, send me a photo for Merlin's sake! I don't know what your flattery will do unless I know who you are! Help me out here._

_Lily Evans_

Lily stuffed the note into Stag's last envelope and sent Strix, who had been sitting on her desk since she had delivered the letter after breakfast, out the window. Lily watched Strix fly away, her stomach in knots.

Was Stag going to reply soon, and if he did, what was he going to say? Would he mention his name, send a photo, set up a meeting? Lily was dying to know.

"What d'you make of this, Padfoot?" said James Potter, holding up a scrap of parchment.

Sirius Black grinned and said, "How could she refuse?"

Remus Lupin sighed and pulled the piece of parchment from James's fingers. His eyes scanned over the note.

"You could've at least said please!" he said exasperatedly, shoving the parchment back into James's hand.

James looked down at the note, a look of comprehension dawning on his face. "Ooh… I s'pose I should, then," he said, scribbling in an extra word with his quill. "Better?"

Remus took the parchment and sighed. "Its fine if you're —"

But he was cut off as Sirius nipped the parchment from his fingers. "Good as gold!" he said, waving the note in the air. "She won't know what hit her!"

"Either that or it'll be such a horrendous excuse of courting that she'll be rendered speechless," said Remus, ripping the parchment from Sirius and balling it up.

James and Sirius both gaped at him as he tossed the ball of parchment into the wastebasket.

"Moony!" cried James. "That was my ticket to Lily Evans!"

"That was as much your ticket to Lily Evans as it was Wormtail's," said Remus. "You need to tell her how you _actually_ feel."

"That _is_ how I feel!" said James, offended. He continued in an off-hand voice, "I want to go out with her."

"Then ask her out," said Sirius, having now successfully found the crumpled up parchment in the wastebasket. He pulled his arm out from the elbow deep clutter. "Aha!"

Remus frowned, choosing to ignore Sirius, and said, "And you couldn't elaborate on that just the slightest bit? Tell her _why_ you like her? And not add the words 'fine' or 'hot'?" he added hastily.

"You know, Prongs," said Sirius, nudging him on the arm and grinning, "tell her all about your _emotional connection_."

"Now that I think about it," said Remus slowly and thoughtfully, "that just might work…."

"Ah, you say that about everything, Moony," said Sirius, now straightening the note against his knee distractedly.

"And he's almost always right," James reminded Sirius.

Sirius shrugged and handed the parchment back to James. "Good as new!" he said proudly.

James crumpled the note back up and threw it at the wastebasket. "I think I like Moony's idea better, Padfoot," said James carefully.

"Oh, sure, _now_ you tell me!" cried Sirius, throwing his hands into the air.

"So anyway…" said James, brushing Sirius off lightly, "how's this stuff work, Moony?"

"How am I supposed to know?" said Remus heartlessly. "It's not like I get a lot of experience…."

"If Moony would just crawl out of his shell…" said Sirius in a sing-song voice, nodding his head at Remus.

"A clam without its shell is just chowder waiting to be served," muttered Remus, folding his arms indignantly.

"I like chowder," said Sirius thoughtfully, dropping back on his four-poster bed after brushing off a few stray Honeyduke's wrappers.

"As I was saying…" said James loudly, "how is it that I am to go about asking out Miss Evans?"

"Well, that's really up to you, Prongs," said Remus. "Though I could make a few suggestions…." He grinned mischievously.

"Excellent!" said Sirius, clapping his hands together. "Let's hear it, then!"

"Well," said Remus, "James and Lily just need some one-on-one time. A chance to get to know each other better, you know?"

James and Sirius nodded eagerly, James more than was normal.

"And don't call it a date, just say you'd like to speak to her privately," reasoned Remus. "Then tell her how you feel, plain and simple. _Exactly _how you feel," he added sternly.

James frowned in concentration.

"I think I can do that," he said, his face lighting up. "She speaks French, you know."

"Oh, is that what that was?" said Sirius vaguely, his attention now turned to _Quidditch Through the Ages_.

"And your point is…?" Remus said, eyebrows raised.

"French is the language of love," James said, wiggling his eyebrows at Remus.

Remus snorted and said, "Not for you, it isn't."

"Well, why not?" demanded James, both looking and sounding somewhat flustered.

"Prongs, Prongs, Prongs," said Remus, shaking his head. "Sit down, we have work to do."

James sat obediently at his desk, looking up at Remus expectantly.

Remus pulled a piece of pale green parchment from his trunk. "I need you to write a letter to Lily, deep, you know, telling her how you feel, what you like about her, and subtly, _subtly_," he repeated for emphasis, "asking her to meet you sometime."

James nodded determinedly as Remus set the parchment in front of him.

"You know," said Sirius slowly, dropping his book and walking over to them, "I've seen parchment like that somewhere before…."

"Yeah, Padfoot, I use it to write letters," said Remus, with the air of explaining two plus two equals four to a five-year-old.

Sirius shook his head, his eyes never leaving the parchment, and said, "No, someplace else…."

He furrowed his brow and tugged on a lock of hair. Remus shook his head.

Sirius snapped his fingers. "Evans' letter!" he exclaimed. "It was green, just like this parchment!"

Remus blushed as James's eyes grew wide.

"Well, they're certainly not from me!" he stuttered. "I've — I've noticed a few pages missing lately."

"And you count your pieces of parchment?" said James incre-dulously, his face growing pink.

Remus threw his hands up in the air.

"It wasn't me, alright?"

"Who said it was?" said Sirius absentmindedly, dropping back down on his bed now that he had recalled the mysterious parchment.

Remus glared at him, plopping down on his own four-poster, the one nearest the open window. James turned to the parchment and dipped his quill in his bottle of ink, writing out the first line of his courtship delicately.

After several minutes of listening to James's quill scratching against the parchment, Sirius grew bored of his book.

"Aren't you done yet?" he whined, watching James upside-down from his bed.

James finished writing with a flourish. "Yep," he said, fanning the letter in the air.

"There's an envelope in my trunk," said Remus stiffly, who was currently staring out the window.

James shuffled several papers around and drew out a sky blue envelope from Remus's trunk.

Sirius's head popped up.

"That's the kind of envelope Evans' letters were in!" he exclaimed, sitting bolt upright, an inquisitive look plastered to his face.

Remus spun on the spot.

"I swear it wasn't me!" he said, his eyes pleading.

"Then why were those letters to Evans in an envelope like this?" demanded James, waving the envelope in Remus's face.

"How am I to know?" Remus shot back. "Anyone could have bought those envelopes at Flourish and Blotts!"

There was silence, then: "Right."

James stuffed the letter into the envelope and left without another word.

**Author's Notes: **Once again, yo.

Er... review, and... another chapter coming soon. ;)

I'm not talkative today, don't blame me. My MOTHER nearly gave me a heart attack this morning and I'm tired, which really has nothing to do with the near-death experience, but whatever.

--alisa


	3. Day Three

Day Three

Lily twisted her hands on her lap, too nervous to eat the plateful of food in front of her.

"You gonna eat that?" said Sirius thickly, pointing to the mound of food in front of her.

Lily pushed the plate of food toward him, Sirius showing his gratitude by shoving one of her crumpets down his throat whole.

Lily was expecting a letter from Stag this morning and she was extremely nervous, though why was unbeknownst to her. He was just a strangely stalker-ish person, right? But Lily couldn't help but feel anxious that his identity might soon to known to her, something she had been longing to know since his first mysterious letter.

"Hey Lily," said a voice behind her breathlessly.

She turned around and smiled, saying, "Hey Egan. How're you this morning?"

The boy sat down, brushing a lock of his mahogany hair from his eyes.

"Excellent, thank you," he said in his breathless voice, his cheeks flushed. Egan pulled the spoon from a bowl of thick porridge with a squelching noise, ladling some of it into a bowl.

Lily scrunched her nose. "Egan, you have a bit of ink on your nose, right there," she said, poking the tip of his button nose.

"I do?" he said, his cheeks blushing as he rubbed fruitlessly at the tip of his nose.

Lily laughed as he tried to see the ink on his nose, his eyes crossing as he bit his tongue. He made a rather exasperated noise in the back of his throat and took shelter to the main corridor off the Great Hall, where the toilets were located.

Sirius swallowed thickly. "It was just a bit of ink," he said, his eyes following Egan's retreating form.

Lily shrugged, still giggling.

"I wonder what he wanted," voiced James, his head tilted to the side as he observed the doors through which Egan had just passed.

"To eat breakfast, of course," said Lily, rolling her eyes and turning to her plate, which was no longer there. She gave a disappointed grunt as she watched Sirius swallow the last of her food.

"No," pressed James, "he came here for a specific reason."

He squinted his eyes at the door, obviously thinking hard about something.

"And how would _you_ know?" asked Lily sharply, eyeing James incredulously.

James straightened up, blushing, and merely said, "He had a look in his eye."

"A look?" repeated Lily, eyebrow raised.

"Yes," he said, with a tip of his head, "a look."

"Well, what kind of look?" she interrogated.

James blushed a bit more and said softly, "A determined kind of look."

This answer seemed to suffice, for Lily turned to the bowl of porridge in front of her and pulled the spoon out with a loud squelch to serve herself.

Just above them the daily mail arrived, hundreds of birds swooping above them, searching for the recipients of their packages and letters they bore. The Great Hall was quickly showered in early morning mist from the birds' wings after a long night's travels.

Lily's eyes scanned the peck hopefully for Strix and Mr. Stag's reply to her last (and rather desperate) letter. Letters were delivered and gifts received, but no Strix. Lily felt the knot in her chest residing as the Great Hall was emptied of the winged creatures.

Lily stood up abruptly, and without another word, exited the Great Hall. Dashing out the doors and into the main hall, nearly plowing over Egan as she went, she made her way up to the safety of her dormitory, where she could vent out her frustration without much attention.

Barking the password at the Fat Lady (who swung open reproachfully), she stomped up the stairs to her own seventh year girls' dormitory. Slamming the door open, she prepared to throw herself onto her bed, but halted suddenly.

Lying neatly on top of her bed, in all its glory, was a sky blue envelope.

Lily gave a whoop of joy, ripping the purple seal off in her hurry to see the letter. All of her questions were finally about to be answered; she would finally know who her hiding lover was!

She pulled out the letter with an extra burst of gusto than was normally used for opening a letter. She recognized that untidy scrawl, with a head of hair to match….

Dear Lily,

Lily, don't ball this up, there's something I need to explain to you. It is, if truth be told, highly important to me, and I need you to listen… or rather, read.

Do you remember the last time I asked you out? Because I do. I know it may sound funny coming from me, but Lily, I truly, really, undeniably, inevitably, indescribably fancy you. There, I said it. Happy now?

You don't believe me, do you? Merlin, I saw this one coming. For the love of Sirius and the rest of the Marauders, you have to believe me, Lily! You're just so — for lack of better word — perfect.

You're like… playing Quidditch in the rain. Like getting sick off Cockroach Clusters, or… or — I don't know, hoping you can accomplish something in your life when in the bottom of your heart you know you'll never really add up to anything. Thinking about you is like not being able to breathe. It's like the tight feeling you get in your chest right before a Quidditch game, when at the same time you know you're going to do all right.

You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you? Let me try a different… you know that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach before an exam, the feeling that tells you you're going to bomb it for sure? But at the same time your brain is telling you you'll do fine, that you know everything? Like someone's squeezing your lungs so you can't get enough air in?

That's how I feel around you, like I never want to leave, but at the same time, it hurts more every time I breathe. I don't want to stay around you and… hurt myself more, but at the same time I'd rather be with you than anywhere else in the world.

Could we just, you know, meet sometime and talk? Just the two of us? I swear I won't try to kiss you or anything, I just need to talk to you, just you, before I quit cold turkey. I know you don't like me at all, but I just need to tell you some stuff before I leave you alone forever.

Give it some thought. I'll be in the owlry at eight if you need me.

Yours in mind,

James Potter

P.S. Je vous adore, je fais véritablement.

Lily's fingers balled around the note as she tore off, her pent up emotions getting the better of her. She pelted down corridor after corridor, staircase after staircase, all the while one single thing ricocheting against the inside of her skull: _Je vous adore, je fais véritablement. _

_I love you, I truly do. _

.',.',.',.',.',.',.',.',.',.',.',.',.',.',.',.',.',.',.',.',.',.',

Strix swallowed the writhing spider whole. The figure wrinkled his little nose at her.

Brushing aside Strix's homicidal moment away, he held up a neatly typed piece of parchment.

"How does it look?" he asked the bird, waving the green love letter in front of her slowly revolving head.

Her amber eyes grew in size as she observed him, her head twisting to the side.

"As one can only assume, talking to a bird," the figure mumbled, folding the parchment and opening the trunk at the foot of his bed. After searching for a moments, he resurfaced, saying, "Blast it all."

Turning to another bed, he unlatched and opened the trunk at its end. Pulling out a sky blue envelope, he nodded approvingly, tucking his letter in hopefully.

Walking over to his desk, he pulled his ring off of his middle finger. Opening a bottle similar to an ink pot, he dripped a few droplets of navy blue wax on the envelope's seal, pressing the ring in it firmly. He pulled the ring up slowly after a few moments, watching as the ring of wax slowly dried in the crisp spring air blowing in through the open window.

"Here you are," he said, tying the letter to Strix's leg securely. "Just leave it in her room, all right? She's sure to find it there…."

Strix hooted and flew out the open window. Circling the whole of the school once, she flew in through the open window of the Gryffindor seventh year girls' dormitory.

Landing on Lily's bed in a ruffle of feathers, she used her sharp beak to pick the string holding the letter to her leg off. Giving her leg a hearty shake, she managed to dislodge it, watching with her glowing amber eyes as the letter landed dangerously near to the edge of the bed pressed against the wall.

Strix gave an ignorant ruffle of her feathers, and after one more glance at the teetering letter, she took off out the window.

The cool April breeze blew in through the open window, ruffling the drawn curtains on all the four-posters but one.

Lily Evans' curtains, pulled back at the unfortunate moment, were swaying in the flower-scented breeze, brushing up against her trunk and the pile of blankets at the foot of her bed.

The wind gave a strong, whistling gust of air.

The figure's letter slipped in between Lily's bed and the wall soundlessly.

_BANG!_

At that moment, Lily slammed the door shut with unnecessary force, one of the many posters taped to the back fluttering to the ground behind her.

"Where're all those blasted friends when you need them?" she said, glaring at nothing in particular (which just happened to be one of her roommate's many toads in an aquarium underneath the window).

She gave a weary sigh, dropping to her messy bed. Brushing back a wisp of dark red hair, she unclenched her fist, revealing one simple letter that had managed to complicate her life in less than sixty seconds flat.

The letter that tore her up inside. The letter that could be substantial evidence of the biggest prank of the year. The letter that could open her up to the one and only James Potter. (_The letter that smells of his spicy cologne…. _she added.)

The one and only James Potter who supposedly loved her, the meager Lily Evans, wild haired, freckly, bookworm Lily Evans.

The pieces didn't fit together. The model didn't fit the mold. The glove didn't fit the hand. No matter how one might choose to say it, James Potter fancying Lily Evans did not make sense in her highly confused mind.

She ran a hand through her tangled hair with difficulty, thoughts such as 'How could he possibly fancy me?' and 'This has to be some elaborate prank he and Black have set up, how could it not be?' running through her mind.

She took a deep breath and laid the facts down before herself. (She often found this was one of the easiest ways of solving a problem or coming up with a solution.)

1) James Potter had been asking her out since fifth year.

2) He abruptly stopped asking her out only last month.

3) Not even three days ago she began receiving mysterious letters from a boy by the nickname of 'Stag', expressing his undying love for her.

4) James Potter sent her a letter asking to meet her tonight in the owlry, of all places, and not too subtlety so.

5) The only people she knew of who made ridiculous nicknames for each other was the Marauders.

6) James Potter's nickname was Prongs, not Stag.

7) Stag had been careful in hiding his identity, writing only by typewriter instead of longhand.

8) Whoever Stag was, he knows her owl.

9) James Potter knows her owl.

10) James Potter said he loves her, his story backed up by Sirius Black.

11) James Potter tended to act like a completely arrogant berk in her presence, showing off at any possible moment.

12) James Potter also tended to act embarrassed and/or nervous in her presence, hence the acting like a completely arrogant berk.

13) James Potter nonetheless took every opportune time to prank anyone and everyone, anywhere and everywhere.

14) James Potter did not go completely berserk and loose his head when a "secret love affair" and corresponding letters were mentioned.

All this vague information led Lily to a few possible explanations, each more seemingly crazy than the last in its own misguided way.

1) James Potter actually fancied her and was secretly Stag.

2) James Potter actually fancied her and had no idea who Stag was.

3) James Potter and Sirius Black decided to drive her to insanity by writing her cock and bull letters.

4) James Potter and Sirius Black decided to torpedo her with Dungbombs when she went to meet with said Potter, or other various forms of torture, having no correlation with Stag's letters whatsoever.

To Lily, the last two seemed the most possible, but then, maybe a miracle wouldn't be too far a shot these days.

_Yes_, she thought, _a miracle would be nice. _

Of course, what girl didn't wish the boy she fancied would fancy her back? This was so, even for little Miss Evans. She too wished the self-centered, egotistical twit known as James Potter actually did fancy her, no matter how she may deny it. She, on the other hand, may wish she could stop fancying him, but no such thing will be happening anytime soon, and she knows it all too well.

But what reason would the self-centered, egotistical twit that is James Potter have for fancying the wild haired, freckly, bookworm that is Lily Evans?

_Just one more thing to add to my list to find out tonight_, she told herself, peeling the crinkly piece of parchment from her palm that was James's letter. Smoothing out the creases, she read it through for what seemed like the umpteenth time.

Still, only one thing truly caught her attention.

_Je vous adore, je fais véritablement. _

Who would be so cruel as to write a prank such as this? Surely James Potter was not this heartless…?

Working with him as Head Girl and Boy had shown Lily just how vulnerable he truly was, no matter how well he disguised it. More than once had she caught him staring at her; she would give him a stern glare and he would turn his head, but be back at it no later than a minute or so after. He would pretend to be so engrossed in a book that he wouldn't dare leave the common room and not finish it, knowing full well that she was in the armchair across from him. He would brush off any girl so he could finish his conversation with her on Heads duties.

Now her first two theories weren't seeming so unlikely.

But did he really _love_ her? Fancying was one thing, but moving straight on to love? This seemed a little rash to Lily.

But then his letter seemed so sincere…. He described a feeling Lily knew all too well, that constriction in her chest eating away at her. It was a dreadful feeling, but at the same time, comforting…. Feeling her airway seemingly tighten when she felt his breath on her neck, forcing her to suck in air as he slipped a single rose in her fingers, it was incredible. He would walk away and she would breathe easier, though her fingers would be cramped tightly around the stem of the flower.

It wasn't like the spine tingling she felt when he called her name, took her hand in his, or asked her for just one chance. When he did such, she would feel that bolt of something traveling down her spine, over and over, goose bumps rising on her skin as it did.

Only when his breath tickled her skin would she gasp for air. Only when he snuck up on her in the library and watched her from behind the Potions section would her lungs tighten; it was as if she could feel his presence, making the air around her thicken.

Lily looked down as the familiar bumps his smell brought rose up on her arms, the tingling in her spine bringing a smile to her face.

Perhaps she was deeper into James Potter than she first assumed.

Lily looked herself up and down in the bathroom mirror. Frizzing hair which she'd tried and failed to straighten (it was now pulled back in a tight braid), school blouse that clung to all the wrong places (she'd been forced to unbutton the top two buttons, revealing more than she approved of), limp skirt that was beginning to fray (a rather destructive friend had borrowed it for a day), and a fresh set of robes that Sirius Black had spilled gravy all over at dinner. In her opinion (sarcastic, of course), she looked simply spiffing.

Dropping back onto her bed, she kicked off the worn shoes she had used the previous two years. Closing her eyes, she pictured how she ought to look for this "engagement," as she had taken to calling it in her mind.

She would wear an emerald green dress, her hair pulled back into an elegant bun at the top of her head, curls cascading down the back of her head. Pulling off her shoulders, the dress would end sharply above the knee. If she had her way, she would go barefoot, but as that was unhygienic (especially in the owlry), she would find a lovely pair of shoes to match. And, of course, she would ditch the robes. They had gravy on them.

But instead of cascading curls and an emerald green dress, she pushed herself off of her bed and reached into one of her roommate's trunks. Pulling out a plain black shirt, collarless and short sleeved, she sighed. It would have to do.

Pulling the shirt over her head, she chose the next trunk to invade. After picking the victim, she tugged and searched and finally managed to unearth a green and gray plaid skirt. Sticking her skinny legs (which she was awfully proud of) through, she smoothed the cotton fabric out, curtsying for her mirror and inspecting her reflection. _Not bad_, she thought. _Not bad at all._

Pulling at the ribbon that held her hair in place, she ran her fingers through her thick hair. With a quick flick of her wand, her hair was heavy and wet in her hands, just the way she liked it. Dividing it into three separate sections, she took her time and braided it carefully.

Throwing her hair over her shoulder, she pulled on a pair of her own knee-highs, black to match her shirt. Reaching for her own shoes but deciding against, she dug through several trunks before finding a friend's pair that fit her.

Inspecting herself in her mirror, she found she approved. Spying her gravy-covered robe from the corner of her eye, she decided that wearing a robe was not necessary, and so she'd go without.

Her stomach beginning to squirm, she peered down at her watch, which read 6:57 p.m. What was she to do for a whole _hour_?

On a spur of the moment, she took off down the dormitory stairs on out the common room. Pelting down the hall at an alarming rate, Lily skidded to a halt outside the owlry. After taking a deep breath, she entered.

Much to her surprise, hundreds of owls were not the only thing awaiting her there.

"Egan?" she said skeptically. (Egan's hair was unnaturally messy, much like James'.)

"Lily," he said, turning from the window. "How nice of you to be here."

She smiled and joined him at the window. "It's nice to be here. It's always nice to be here."

He nodded, glancing at her from the corner of his eye.

"So we can talk then?"

"Of course we can talk," she said, now stroking a barn owl placidly. "This is the best place to talk."

He smiled and said, voice as breathless as ever, "That's a nice skirt. It brings out your eyes."

Lily looked down at the skirt she was wearing and back to Egan, saying, "Oh, this thing? It's not mine, it's a friends. But… thanks anyway."

Egan grinned and nodded. Suddenly, a tawny bird flew in the window.

"Hibou?" said Lily, the owl landing on her outstretched arm.

"Whose owl is this?" asked Egan, eyeing it carefully. "Surely not yours?"

Lily shook her head, Hibou ruffling his feathers.

"He's James Potter's. Handsome fellow, isn't he?"

Egan looked affronted, and said accusingly, "The bird or the boy?"

Lily made a tiny gasping noise, quickly correcting her error with: "The bird, of course! The bird is handsome."

Hibou hooted approvingly, nipping at Lily's finger.

"He is a pretty one," said Egan, smoothing out one of the bird's feathers. "So is yours."

Strix hooted from high above them.

"Hey baby, what're you doing way up there?" Lily cooed, motioning to Strix. "C'mon down…"

Strix's amber eyes grew as she perched on the window ledge near them, her eyes glowing in the dimming evening light. Lily fussed over her bird for a moment, Hibou joining Strix on the windowsill. Lily suddenly turned to Egan.

"Egan, can I ask you a question?"

"Of course you can," he said, leaning against the wall near the window and earning himself a nip on the ear from Strix.

Lily took a deep breath and dove in.

"You know that feeling you get when you really fancy someone, like you can't breathe?"

Egan frowned at her for a moment, then said, "Yes, I do recall feeling such once or twice…."

"Can you make that feeling go away?" she asked, voice strained, wringing her hands in front of her.

Egan sighed. "I'm afraid not, Lily. Once it's there, it's there, and it will not go away until it wants to."

Lily blew the air from her lungs through her teeth slowly.

"Is there someone?" he asked quietly.

"Dear Merlin is there someone," she said, pressing her hands against her eyes.

"Do you… want to tell me?" he asked, even more quietly than before.

"Egan, I don't want to fancy him! I'd be a dirty hypocrite if I did!" she cried. "I'm a bigot, Egan, just a dirty bigot with a crush."

"That makes two of us," sighed Egan. "Lily, I promised myself I would never fall for her, but I did. I told people to give up on her, but here I am, a dirty bigot."

Lily sighed. "Two bigots of a kind."

"Two bigots of a kind," he repeated, nodding his head toward her.

"We should start a club," she mumbled, "and be co-presidents."

"You can have co-presidents?" he asked, eyebrows raised.

"Well… king and queen then," she said, shrugging her shoulders.

"As long as I get to be king," said Egan, and Lily giggled, making him smile.

Their laughter died, each to his own thoughts.

"You're not planning on telling me who, are you?" he said, pulling an old biscuit from his pocket and breaking it in two.

"Nope," she said blatantly.

"Alright," Egan said, giving half the cookie to both Strix and Hibou. "But I already told you."

Lily frowned.

"No you —"

"Hibou!" cried a voice. "I need you to nip over to the g—"

James Potter stopped straight in his tracks.

"Speak of the devil," Lily whispered, her eyes widening as James entered the owlry slowly, his face inquiring.

Egan's face quickly went from puzzlement to understanding.

"It's him, isn't it? James Potter," he said tartly, pointing an accusing finger at Lily.

"Er… that'd be me, mate," said James confusedly, waving a hand.

Lily flushed and refused to say a word.

Egan went on as if she'd confirmed the fact.

"But I thought you hated —?"

Lily shook her head, a strand of hair dislocating itself from her braid.

"I never did."

"Should I — er — come back later?" asked James, taking a step to-ward the doorway.

"No!"

"Yes."

Lily and Egan glared at each other for a short moment. They broke the eye contact.

"I was just about to leave," said Egan shortly, stomping out of the owlry.

James and Lily stood in silence for a moment, the hooting of the many owls the only noise.

"Well, that was awkward," said James. He looked up at Lily, who was still blushing furiously. He cleared his throat. "And I'm sensing more awkwardness."

Her blush darkened as she bit her lip.

"Yes, well… I'm going to leave," he said, and turned on his heel, his face reddening as well.

"Wait!" Lily said, startling both herself and James. "I — er… don't you have a letter to send?"

They both looked down at the sky blue envelope in his hand. His ears turned a surprising shade of red.

"Nope," he said, his voice cracking. He stuffed the letter into his pants pocket.

They stood in an uncomfortable silence, neither being able to move (nor wanting to, for that matter). James' eyes darted from her glowing face up and down her body, his eyes growing wide. Her short form was displayed nicely in her skirt and dark blouse, her hair looking slightly disheveled.

Before either of them knew what was happening, James had pressed his body up against hers, kissing her fiercely. His arms were wrapped tightly around her shoulders, pulling her closer to him, her arms pinned to her sides.

And as if he suddenly regained control of his highly rebellious brain, his eyes shot open, his lips still pressed lightly against hers. Her eyes were closed, the little of her face he could see still reading shock, though not displeasure.

James pulled back quickly, his ears satisfactorily red. "I shouldn't have done that," he said quickly, his voice husky.

Lily's eyes were still closed, her face slowly reddening. Her lips tugged down in a slight frown as she opened her eyes.

"I'm sorry," she heard him mutter, and with that he ran away, his red ears and neck shining out at her.

Lily pressed a quivering hand to her lips. Pressing her tongue in between her lips, she could still taste the lingering kiss. She let out a shaky sigh.

"Of course he would run," she mumbled to herself, her eyes looking painfully over to the entrance of the owlry.

She smoothed her skirt over her legs, unsure of what to do with her trembling hands. Strix hooted at her in a comforting way, but the companionship of her owl would not help her now.

She leaned out the wide window, the breeze ruffling her drying hair. She closed her eyes as she savored her kiss with James Potter.

After ten minutes (but what seemed like an eternity to Lily), she heard the faint clicking of shoes against the stone floor. She smiled slightly to herself, the familiar feeling of butterflies erupting in the pit of her stomach. The noise ceased.

"Er… Lily?"

"James," she replied, her voice cooler than she ever intended it to be. Her back was to him, her head still extended out the window, but there was no mistaking his voice.

He sighed, and she could see him in the eye of her mind running a hand through his thick head of hair, unsure of how to begin.

"Look, I'm really, really sorry about kiss—"

"It's okay."

"—ing you… what?"

She turned to him, a small smile taunting him. "I said its okay. It's not that big of a deal."

He opened his mouth, closed it, and then grinned uncertainly. But his grin was instantly wiped off as she said, "So, there was something you wanted to talk about?"

"Er… yeah. I… erm — you got my letter?" he stuttered, eyeing her tentatively.

"So I did… Stag," she added, grinning brightly in her mind, though shyly on the exterior.

His eyes shot up to her face sharply.

"Who told you about that? It was Sirius, wasn't it? I swear, he can be so —"

She laughed, and he looked up at her quizzically.

"I figured it out on my own," she said. "It wasn't that hard to figure out, really."

He raised an eyebrow at her. "It wasn't? Oh… well… got to tell Moony…" he mumbled, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose quickly.

They stood in silence, James fidgeting uncertainly, Lily eyeing him curiously.

He looked up and opened his mouth as if to speak, but all that came out was: "I —"

He stopped instantly and the silence enveloped them once again. Lily rolled her eyes and breathed deeply before taking the plunge.

"You really fancy me, don't you?"

He gave a sharp intake of breath, but nodded slowly, his line of vision seemingly limited to his shoes.

Lily shuffled her feet impatiently.

"Yes… well… that's good," she said, for lack of better words.

He raised his head and locked eyes with her. "It is?"

She blushed and nodded slowly.

"Does that mean you…?"

She nodded again, chewing the inside of her cheek as she did, as if to bite back her increasing blush.

"You… and me?" he questioned, his brows furrowed lightly.

"Yes."

"Oh." He frowned in concentration, the looked at her, grinning lopsidedly. "Cool."

She gave a quivering laugh and shook her head.

"So… I, er —"

"Yes?" she asked, taking a step forward uncertainly.

"Does that mean I could, er" — he ran a hand through his hair — "kind of… you know…." He gestured at her meaninglessly.

"Well… I, er, suppose…" she responded tentatively, wondering what in the name of Merlin "kind of… you know" was supposed to mean.

He took a hasty step forward, his eyes shining out warmly at her. She wrung her hands nervously, watching as his Adam's apple rose and fell as he swallowed. He stuck his hand out tentatively, raising it to her eye level.

_What in the name of sweet Merlin is he doing? _Lily asked herself feverishly as he took another hesitant step forward.

His hand grazed her cheek, and she felt her knees begging to buckle beneath her, but she stood strong, James taking another cautious step toward her.

He lowered his head to hers hesitantly, sucking in a choked gasp of air before touching his lips to hers.

She melted in his touch, pressing her lips eagerly against his, gently moving her hands up to his shoulders for fear of crumpling to the ground. She felt his hands brush against her waist, recoil, and slowly glide back into place.

He drew back slowly, savoring her sweet taste, his breathing heavier.

"You know," he said slowly, his eyes locking with hers, "this is about the time Sirius jumps on my bed and wakes me up."

She locked her hands behind his head. "You've dreamt about this?" she whispered.

"All the time," he replied bitterly. "This is, after all, just another dream. Sirius will start singing and Remus will start yelling and I'll wake up."

"James, this isn't a dream," she said, and a smile graced her lips. "But if it is, let's hope you never wake up."

"I always do."

She smiled as she rested her head against his chest, sighing contentedly. She could hear his heart beating at an unusually fast pace inside of him. She placed a hand over it and looked up at him.

"You need to relax," she murmured, "or you'll give yourself a heart attack."

He gave her a pained smile.

She drew back slightly. "What's wrong?"

"I — I'm just afraid I'm going to wake up," he admitted, his eyes glistening.

"Trust me," she said softly, "you're awake."

He smiled. "It's a good thing I trust you, isn't it?" he said, and slipped his hand in hers. "You fancy a walk?"

"That would be lovely," she said, grinning brightly.

Hand in hand, they wandered from the owlry, from the castle, and onto the moonlit grounds. A waxing moon shone brightly above them, despite the fact the sun had only begun to disappear beyond the horizon.

"It's almost the full moon," Lily observed, her eyes mesmerized by the glowing orb hanging low over the pink sky.

"Only one day left," muttered James, tightening his grip on her hand. She squeezed his hand in hers, swinging them slowly between them.

"The moon is such an amazing thing," she whispered as they halted in front of the lake, a chilly breeze blowing off of it.

"But it can be such a curse," he replied, frowning up at the monthly plague, the pink slowly being ebbed away with deep blues.

"What d'you mean?" she questioned.

"For werewolves, I mean," he said, lowering his eyes to hers.

"I suppose it is," she said, and sighed. "It must be terribly hard to be one."

"It must be," he answered, "but they manage."

She nodded, and on the topic, began a long-winded speech on her view of today's wizarding society and its pressures and influences, as well as its deadly prejudices. This triggered a lengthy discussion of politics and power, which both seemed to be very knowledgeable about. Before either of them knew it, the sun had set completely and the cool night had set in.

"I suppose we should head in," she muttered, folding her arms tightly across her chest. James draped an arm around her shoulders.

"I suppose," he agreed, and (very reluctantly so) they began their ascent to the castle.

Upon reaching the Fat Lady, they gave her the password after a quick scolding ("Out and about so late, the _nerve_ of you!"), and stumbled into the warm common room. They stood in front of the dying fire, eyeing each other with dreaded apprehension.

"Well, I… I suppose I should go," said Lily, motioning to the girls' dormitory behind James.

"I reckon…"

He leaned down and gave her a swift kiss on the cheek. "Le sommeil bien, mon amour," he murmured, and rushed off to the boys' dormitories.

Lily smiled and called after him softly, "Sleep well, my love."


	4. Day Four

**Day Four**

Lily took a deep breath.

"Well, let's go," she said, and tugged on James's hand, pulling him into the Great Hall.

Upon entrance, there was little notice of the couple holding hands, until one sixth year Hufflepuff proceeded to point and shout at the top of her tiny lungs, "Look! Lily Evans and James Potter, holding hands!"

All eyes in the Great Hall turned to them as dead silence overtook the Hall. Lily and James halted in their tracks, Lily turning redder with every passing moment, James's grin growing wider with every passing moment.

A wolf call filled the Hall, originating from what Lily presumed was the Gryffindor table. The Hall filled with the roar of laughter, people turning back to their conversations and mountain-loads of food. Lily shook her head and followed James over to the Gryffindor table.

Sirius and Peter were both rummaging in their pockets, shooting Remus looks of disgruntlement.

"Hey, Wormtail," said James, sliding onto the bench, Lily following behind him gracefully. "I haven't seen you in a couple of days, where've you been?"

Peter dropped a few silver coins into Remus's open palm. "Avery pushed me into the vanishing cabinet again," he said with a sigh.

"You really have to stand up for yourself, Worm," said Sirius, bonging a galleon at Remus, who caught it deftly, smiling smugly as he dropped the coins in his pocket.

"I do," said Peter in a whiny voice, "but I can't help it if he's twice my size!"

Sirius shook his head, grabbing a crumpet and dunking it into a tub of marmalade.

"That's disgusting, Padfoot," said Remus with distaste, shoveling half the platter of eggs onto his plate.

"I wouldn't be talking," came Sirius's thick reply, his voice heavily muffled by his mouthful of crumpet.

Remus sat up a bit higher. "You know I need to stock up," he said, patting his stomach.

"So, what were you betting on this time?" asked James lightly, pulling an empty plate towards himself.

They all grinned at him with identically mischievous smirks.

"You," they replied at the same time.

James closed his eyes and dropped his head. "Again?" he asked exasperatedly.

"And I won," said Remus merrily, shaking his jingling pocket.

"You were betting about James?" asked Lily curiously, dropping the muffin she had been raising to her lips. "What about him?"

"When he would get over you," said Peter unconcernedly, brushing back some of his wispy blonde hair before reaching for the toast.

"What did you say?" Lily said quietly, her eyes narrowing at Peter.

"'Would' being the key word there," added Sirius, glancing up and down the Gryffindor table distractedly. "Now where'd Tabitha get off to?"

"And I won," Remus reminded them again, giving his pocket a quick pat before returning to his quickly disappearing mound of eggs.

"Well," said Lily, somewhat flustered by their odd choice of things to bet on, "how long did you bet?"

Remus swallowed his mouthful of food down with difficulty. "Never."

"Oh," she mumbled, blushing and scooting herself over a fraction of an inch closer to James. "Well… that's good."

"It is, isn't it?" said James, slipping his arm around her waist slowly. She smiled blissfully as she felt the familiar spark running up and down her spine.

"Padfoot guessed the end of fifth year," added Peter unnecessarily, stuffing his last bit of toast into his mouth.

"And you guessed the beginning of fourth year," Sirius reminded him, dropping back down to the bench disappointedly after trying and failing to locate Tabitha.

"Well," said James, turning to Lily, "you about ready to go?"

She nodded, and they left the Gryffindor table together, hand in hand. They had made it only a few yards when from behind them, someone whistled loudly.

"Padfoot," said James, turning on the spot, "we get the point! You can stop now."

"What?" yelped Sirius. "It wasn't me, it was Moony!"

"Yeah, and Moony was the one who borrowed my Silver Arrow and snapped it in half," said James sarcastically, turning his back and joining Lily out the doors of the Great Hall.

Remus grinned widely and turned to Sirius. "And this is why I can get away with anything."

Lily and James slowly wound their way up to the Gryffindor common room, where the Fat Lady greeted them warmly ("I'll be watching you two.") and let them enter. Standing in front of the girls' dormitory, they shared a kiss.

Pulling back, Lily muttered, "I'll be right back. Bathroom break," and planted a peck on his cheek before dashing up the dormitory stairs.

Upon walking into her dormitory, though, she found Strix perching impatiently on the top of her four-poster rather than a blissfully empty room.

"Come here, Strix, come here," she cooed, Strix landing out her outstretched arm and extending her leg.

Frowning slightly, Lily pulled a pale blue envelope from the bird's leg. She pulled a green sheet of parchment from the envelope.

_Dear Lily Evans,_

_I'm sorry I ever doubted you. Your intentions are quite clear now. You're more than I ever could have expected, or I ever could have wanted. I thank you for that._

_Lily, this shall be my last letter. Here I say my printed goodbye._

_N'oublier pas mon amour. _

_Sincerely yours,_

_Votre Cerf _

**Author's Notes: **Yo-yo.

All done! Short, wasn't it? Well, it was a short story. Anyway, I have a simple question for you: Who do you think Stag is?

Answer in your review! ;)

--alisa


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